I just want to be happy. Why does that always seem to be so hard?


I really do feel that there are some people in life, who it just doesn't work out for, who don't get what they want no matter how hard they work, how nice they are, or how much they seem to deserve it. Is their only purpose to make other people's lives easier?

While I'm at it, just what is the point in life? Why are any of us here? It seems to me that the people who do best out of life, are those that are the most ruthless, and the least caring/personable. Those that do well are never the people who take time out for someone else, or who give something their all.

No matter what I do I will work my hardest at it and give it my all, yet I remain jobless and on a degree with no real job prospects at the end. I'm trying so hard to do well at my degree, sacrificing my own enjoyment, and yet I'm still not gonna make the grade for the best internships or for my efforts to be recognised. Starting to think that the worst thing I could have done was go to Imperial. It seems all it does is show you the life you could've had, if you only knew somebody successful enough, or were better at this or had done that.
Apparently I'm being defeatist.

I'm 20 and I feel like my life is over. I feel like there is nothing within my reach to achieve. I have no passion in life, and no real talents. Sure I probably have these elusive transferable skills, but they're supposed to make you better at something else that you already do.

Blah. I can't even say 'OK I'm not gonna be ambitious, I'm just going to work a standard 9-5' as currently I can't even get a standard dead end 9-5.